“There is no tinsel” is my brag, Your taste for silver reveals a lust for a tree of artifice THIS IS HIS HOME IN THE MANGE(r-uh)! THIS IS HIS HOME IN THE MANGE(r-uh)! Where are the obligatory gifters? HEY THERE WISEMEN!! HEY THERE WISEMEN!! There are twelve apostles in the book The rest are students-uh THIS IS HIS HOME IN THE MANGE(r-uh)! THIS IS HIS HOME IN THE MANGE(r-uh)! I just left the Hotel Bethlehem, I had to go there There are no rooms, I can't remember, But now I can remember...now I can remember HAFTA! HAFTA! MESSAGE FOR YER! MESSAGE FOR YER! Too much reliance on stars here On stars here, behind every shell-manger Constable Constable So much gold here I gift you frankincense, myhr, Gift It! Gift It! GIFT IT uh ! GIFT IT! GIFT IT uh ! You won't find anything more respectful, than these three presents, made with the highest British attention to the Christ detail, Driven through winter storms of snow and hail. The Christmassical! The Christmassical! The Christmassical! HOTEL AGGRO! MESSAGE FOR YER! MESSAGE FOR YER! The Christmassical! PARALLAX uh!..........one of the millenium of roman conspiracy, Forever, I know it means a lack of extra cash, I know it means a lack of extra cash, It’s another festival with some lights It’s another festival with some lights GIFT WRAPS uh! The Christmassical! Stomach gas It’s another festival with some lights It’s another festival with some lights GIFT WRAPS uh! Millenium of roman conspiracy Play out Christmassical! It’s another festival with some lights Festival with lights…

Ralphie left his home for the clough And said goodbye to his future spouse Carried air rifle and firm stock of wood Carried night-site telescope light This dream followed him then to school He wrote a theme about his wants Gifted fruit-basket for good grades Teacher gave C+ and said “no way” Ralphie and his air-rifle He didn’t think it would bring harm Ralphie and his air-rifle You’re gonna shoot your eye out The air rifle lets out a mis-placed shot It hit an icicle off of the roof My father, tending wreath-roots says "Ralphie, what happened" "I thought you were rabbit prey or a loose sex criminal" Ralphie he say "Y'see I get no kicks anymore No wife or children There's been no school for forty hours And fighting fills me with guilt So after eight, I prowl the hills Eleven o'clock, I’m tired to Ovaltine Y'see I've been grounded before" My father said "You're out of luck And here is a BB caked in muck Carries the germ of a curse Of the dogs that live next store Formed on an Indiana island To make you a bit of a man" Ralphie and his air-rifle He didn’t think it would bring harm Ralphie and his air-rifle You’re gonna shoot your eye out Ralphie did not eat for a week And no way he can look at meat No potatoes has he anymore It could be his mangled teeth He sees BB guns on the street Fake Santas become carnivores And schoolmates turn into large trees And he has visions of Indiana, heavily covered in tinself The villagers dance round pre-fabs And laugh through twisted mouths Don't eat It's disallowed Suck on potato bowls and energy from the mainland Ralphie and his air-rifle He didn’t think it would bring harm Ralphie and his air-rifle You’re gonna shoot your eye out

These gifts are…appreciated. These gifts are…appreciated. These gifts are…appreciated. Here’s a new gift, Dan, From the Gift Priest. I said here’s a new giftt, Dan, From the Gift Priest! These gifts are…appreciated. These gifts are…appreciated. White elephant gifts from motorway services It's the Gift Priest From the ice he can see, they know It's the Gift Priest These gifts are…appreciated. It's winter psychology. Not just an old lady's. That's gift gift gift gift gift gift gift Gift Priest That's gift gift gift gift gift gift gift Gift Priest And he's gonna make an appearance. He's gonna make an appearance. Was picked in a grab bag from early on. And written on small paper since I was so long. Cause I'm a Gift Priest Cause I'm a Gift Priest People only need me when they want some gifts for free Cause I'm a Gift Priest Cause I'm a Gift Priest It's appreciation half won. And they hate their allegiance to Gift preacher one. Gift Priest I got my last clean Santa suit outta the wardrobe I got my last clean Santa suit outta the wardrobe And all the good people know That's gift gift gift gift gift gif gift Gift Priest All the young kids know All the young kids know They can't ever take advantage because I'm a Gift Priest. They check their stocking for chocolate treats. That's gift gift gift gift gift gift gift Gift Priest And if the good people knew they would say These gifts are…appreciated. These gifts are…appreciated. So here’s a new gift, Dan, for the Gift Priest

Two hours! With 4 Elf-ish kids I spent time in Santa’s Workshop Much discussion in room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S I did not understand why I could not accept the fact that I'd accepted the contract Much discussion in this institution Dinner served was boiled beef and carrots Room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-12-25 It was clear in the winter night The brick outlined the North Pole sky And I had to go round the toy graduates in the toilets And Good King Harry was there (gifting Jimmy Saville) Much discussion in room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-12-25 Much discussion in room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-12-25 I took a walk down at 11 I had to wade through 500 Europeans in mukluks In an off-license I rubbed up with some drummer boys Who threw some change on the snowy counter And asked polite if that covered two winter lagers A hospital discharge asked me where he could get some Xmas cash Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? It's a large type artist ranch This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? Spare a thought for the sleeping children in their beds. They haven't had a real Christmas in two years Two years of COVID and no family to greet Say have you ever have a chance to meet Captain Beefheart imitator cousins with zits? Who is the King S. Claus? Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? It's a large type minstrel ranch This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? The young toy makers get screwed up the worst They've gone over to the North Pole house suss In the Christmas system they implicitly trust See the narwhal civil servants They get snack thrills out of a house of gingerbread They get snack thrills out of a house of gingerbread Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? It's a large type artist ranch This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? Yes, dear chap, it hasn't changed that much It's still a subculture gift wrapping taped up Yes, dear chap, it hasn't changed that much It's still a subculture gift wrapping taped up Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? It's a large type manger ranch This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? It's a large type manger ranch This is where loads of penguins congregate in the dark Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? It's a large type manger ranch This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol Have you been to the English Reindeer Park? Hey tourist didn’t like the gifts you brought Hey midwestern group didn’t like the gifts you brought Hey Scottish group didn’t like the gifts you brought Hey midwestern group didn’t like the gifts you brought Hey Scottish group didn’t like the gifts you brought didn’t like the gifts you brought Hey midwest, did you get my list? Hey midwestern group didn’t like the gifts you brought didn’t like the gifts you brought Guess what Guess guess guess... Guess what

His heart organ was where it should be His sled was in the grass His hand was well out of his pocket His pipe was in his mouth Had a big white beard which was weird some time ago 
Never heard Ramones in ’81 Once built a Spanish guitar Dairy free milk and no gluten - sophisticate! Spanish guitar doesn't get far In kids wanting to be rock stars His dreamgirl sings Christmas carols for him A fancied wit with his two lists for nice and naughty Who's causes and reasons were full of spite They were actually not that nice He’s not a thunder blanket type His sled is in back His sled is in back His sled is in back He had a rough sled flight And one night he stopped off to check Rudolph’s light Decadent reindeers alike He showed he was a big fan of all kinds of cookies Ate blondies, rice krispies, brownies, spritzers Twice each at least Twice each at least Twice each at least Who was Santa Claus’s father? (x12)

Packages uncovered Street signs you never saw Some packages undelivered Courtesy winter You got a UPS delivery In your area at 3:30 You got video meeting at 3:15 But it's 3:13 The packages were left-side south-side towards me There were about 7 Outside was a cleaning lady In snowboots there was large black dog And the packages read: "Under the tree Under the tree Under the tree" I'd just walked past the California post office The sidewalk was littered with scraps of gift wrap There was an electric Divvy parked outside With soup and bread subscription meals in the basket ...they were inside and they didn't even tip... Anyway two weeks before with packages in my arms said "I'll take both of you home, I'll take both of you home" Then I saw opened another one inside It was a parka and a new winter hat With a green-fuzz skull and crossbones Something to wear at the new holiday party Anyway then I missed another one But now I looked like the victim of a gatehop Packages uncovered Street signs you never saw Some packages undelivered Courtesy winter Packages uncovered All shipping enquiries too No shipments delivered Courtesy winter

Inside the post office Was a replica Santa cut-out And the man at the counter Sorta went out of window, by the sidewalk And took my packages round "Please take this Santa hat, Please wear this Santa hat. It's no sign of authority. Wear your gloves and put it on" Courtesy winter (Winter) So [around the] packages Man at the post office said "I just looked round I just looked round I just looked round "And all my gifts were stolen" Two turtle doves cross the sky There fly krakens And sometimes, that partridge..... Makes me tremble Courtesy winter The Christmas tree had 400 lights, the average is 250 lights The mediocre has 200 lights, the sign of genius is 300 lights There's one hundred lights left, that's the one hundred lights That's the USPS law Courtesy winter

When what used to excite you does not Like you've used up all your allowance of experiences Head filled with a mass of far too many gifts for the days. (This is an important aspect of Gift Priest. His hypnotic induction process. His gifting last chance) Just gift 12 days from this world today Just gift 12 days round this place today Just gift 12 days from this world today Just gift 12 days round this place today Don't ever hit that vulgar tree The partridge says: 'Hey you gotta add me' Just gift outside this Christmas-ish world today Just gift right round this...today The Eastern Bloc rocks to Elton John. So just gift 12 days round this place today To be a celebrity you've gotta eat the past, nowadays But who wants to have geese laying, anyway? Just gift right this Christmas-ish world today Just gift outside this grubby place today Just gift out miss the ice flicks of Bacardi Just gift outside this Christmas-ish world today Don't let it beat ya Don't let it gift ya Jump on the back of swans singing Hit those five golden rings Just gift 12 days outside this future world today Today ...world today Just gift 12 days from this place today Jump on the back of swans singing Hit those five golden rings Just gift 12 days outside this future world today Today

Who fills the stockings? Who fills the stockings? I'll tell ya who fills the stockings All the Olds Parents Grandparents Siblings Aunts and uncles, those olds Who fills the stockings? Old Santa C Who fills the stockings? Smiling young parents Aging siblings in elf hats All the Olds Who fills the stockings? The Stockings are red felt Red felt feet Red felt--red felt feet Red felt--red felt feet Who fills the stockings? Remember when I put a toothbrush in your stocking babe? Before I got a crown and root canal? Who fills the stockings? Mantels like three level wood splits Who fills the stockings? Candy cane pies and toast Who fills the stockings? I put a Snickers and potatoes in there once This was real Irish gold Rudolph was then good as gold And told of the reindeer at the Spa Motel The real mould. Who fills the stockings? Blitzen’s cob-web eyes! Who fills the stockings? Christmas marathon movie TV Arena ice shows Daily parade, shopping spree, daily deals Who fills the stockings? Red felt--red felt feet Red felt--red felt feet Who fills the stockings? (Guest rooms) Black burnt pies Hark herald The angels sing Who fills the stockings? (All the Olds cross country) Who fills the stockings? [Man] super Santa-artists Who fills the stockings? Christmas marathon movie TV You mind tellin me? Here's a word from Rudy When you can’t see at night, just have them call me My red nose isn’t your enemy, the weather’s your enemy Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Red felt--red felt feet Who fills the stockings? Who fills the stockings? Christmas marathon movie TV Real mould Rudolph is who the Irish know, Joe. Who fills the stockings? All grandparents. Red felt--red felt feet Red felt--red felt feet Red felt--red felt feet Who fills the stockings?

A plate of smoked lamb and turkey was served And I did feed all my compatriots Fed full within the core of myself Not a matter of ill-health It was fear of later hunger deep in core of myself The fact attainment was out of... Mounting orations With populations Celebrating Christmas in Iceland Sing of legend, sing of destruction Witness the last of the Yule Lads Hear about the Yule Cat Cast the runes against your own soul There is not much more time to go Dark for over fifteen hours for in the deep of the snow Celebrating Christmas in Iceland Slamming doors and stealing pots Harassing sheep with the peg-legs With a large glance from the country folk Gryla shows up as well, Hair blond as hell Cast the Yules against your own soul Roll up for the sledding in snow Celebrating Christmas in Iceland Hiding in rafters for what is smoked Is thin and malnourished Like the Yule Lads around him. See a green tree, gingerbread Make a grab for the book of prayers. For the 6pm cathedral mass Celebrating Christmas in Iceland What does Epiphany Day hit? Say goodbye to each tradition I gifted a Memorex to the Krakens That induces this rough text And casts the runes against the self-soul Celebrating Christmas in Iceland

Everywhere Everywhere Everywhere Everywhere Christmas Day No matter what and never who wraps presents or who's just there You show me the properly shoveled roads You show me the properly shoveled roads Christmas Day Christmas Day There’s whiteout conditions on the roads There’s whiteout conditions on the roads So you even mistrust your own feelings Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day No matter what and never who wraps presents or who's just there The whole Earth shudders Christmas Day Christmas Day Every road just has that black ice for us here, Tom Skilling Christmas Day who says they'll travel later? Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Seen from an ice covered windshield And this day The old feelings came back Every road just has that black ice for us here, Tom Skilling Christmas Day Christmas Day The whole Earth shudders The surroundings are screaming on the roads You even mistrust your own feelings And this day The old feelings came back Big fat snowflakes on the driveway And this day The old feelings came back Every road just has that black ice for us here, Tom Skilling Christmas Day Christmas Day No matter what and never who wraps presents or who's just there who says they'll travel later? who says they'll travel later? The body's like a US hockey player's Blades make presence felt Worked 3 weeks to get the day off Christmas Day Christmas Day My shoulder feels sore because I slipped on the walk Christmas Day The old feelings came back Every road just has that black ice for us here, Tom Skilling Christmas Day The whole Earth shudders There’s whiteout conditions on the roads There’s whiteout conditions on the roads You even mistrust your own feelings And the overall winter area who says they'll travel later? who says they'll travel later? Christmas Day The old feelings came back Big fat snowflakes on the driveway Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Christmas Day Everywhere Everywhere Everywhere Everywhere Every road just has that black ice for us here, Tom Skilling