Two hours!
With 4 Elf-ish kids
I spent time in Santa’s Workshop
Much discussion in room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S

I did not understand why
I could not accept the fact
that I'd accepted the contract
Much discussion in this institution
Dinner served was boiled beef and carrots
Room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-12-25

It was clear in the winter night
The brick outlined the North Pole sky
And I had to go round the toy graduates in the toilets
And Good King Harry was there (gifting Jimmy Saville)

Much discussion in room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-12-25
Much discussion in room C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-12-25

I took a walk down at 11
I had to wade through 500 Europeans in mukluks
In an off-license I rubbed up with some drummer boys
Who threw some change on the snowy counter
And asked polite if that covered two winter lagers
A hospital discharge asked me where he could get some Xmas cash

Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?
It's a large type artist ranch
This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol
Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?

Spare a thought for the sleeping children in their beds.
They haven't had a real Christmas in two years
Two years of COVID and no family to greet
Say have you ever have a chance to meet
Captain Beefheart imitator cousins with zits?
Who is the King S. Claus?

Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?
It's a large type minstrel ranch
This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol
Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?

The young toy makers get screwed up the worst
They've gone over to the North Pole house suss
In the Christmas system they implicitly trust
See the narwhal civil servants
They get snack thrills out of a house of gingerbread
They get snack thrills out of a house of gingerbread

Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?
It's a large type artist ranch
This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol
Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?

Yes, dear chap, it hasn't changed that much
It's still a subculture gift wrapping taped up
Yes, dear chap, it hasn't changed that much
It's still a subculture gift wrapping taped up

Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?
It's a large type manger ranch
This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol
Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?

Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?
It's a large type manger ranch
This is where loads of penguins congregate in the dark
Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?

Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?
It's a large type manger ranch
This is where C Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol
Have you been to the English Reindeer Park?

Hey tourist didn’t like the gifts you brought
Hey midwestern group didn’t like the gifts you brought
Hey Scottish group didn’t like the gifts you brought
Hey midwestern group didn’t like the gifts you brought
Hey Scottish group didn’t like the gifts you brought
didn’t like the gifts you brought

Hey midwest, did you get my list?
Hey midwestern group didn’t like the gifts you brought
didn’t like the gifts you brought
Guess what
Guess guess guess...
Guess what